The J Word Part II

It was time for me to go home and take out the dog, since mommy wasn't going to be able to leave for a week, I had to do some of the runnings. As I was driving home with the radio going, I couldn't help start to cry. I started to talk to the Lord and ask him why it was that our poor daughter had to go through this.

I wondered why we had to deal with this, when we had enough troubles trying to bring a beautiful joy into our lives. I couldn't stop the tears, no matter how hard I tried. They flowed like a river and I was feeling so down. I wanted her to be ok, I wanted her to not feel anymore pain and be the little girl we wanted her to be.

I got home and let out the dog. I turned on the radio and started to let our dog run around for a while so that he wouldn't feel like he had to be couped up all day long. I dropped to my knees, so sad and so crushed that I started balling. I know that most men don't cry, but I couldn't help it. I was so sad, I was also so worried that our daughter would not make it.

I asked the Lord and pleaded with him that he please give us a chance. All I wanted was her to be ok, as any father would. I returned to the hospital after putting our dog into his cage. He started to bark as he didn't want me to leave, but I couldn't stay away for long because mommy needed my support.

Things started to get better, the numbers started to drop, we were very happy. It was a great feeling to know that the lights were working, we wanted her to stay under the lights if it is helping. The doctor on call came in and told us that in a few days we probably would be able to leave.

We were so happy, we couldn't wait. Another day went by and our hopes were crushed as one of the nurses told us that the numbers have started to rise again. They were not sure what was going on, but it worried us so much. We held each other close and I felt the worse feeling deep down inside. I didn't want her to die, I need her more than anything. If I lost her, I don't know what I would do.

It was hard, but several days passed and things started to get better. I could feel that the Lord was with us. Our daughter was starting to loose the jaundice, we were so thankful. I thanked the Lord with all of my heart.

Our main doctor whom we see quite often for colds came in, he told us that things were looking great. He said it should be another day and then we would be able to go home. He gave us a few papers and told us were are going to have to pick up a bili blanket. He told us that it plugs into the wall and we'll have to wrap her in the lights to keep the jaundice down. We had to do that for the next two weeks and most of the time she was in her swing rocking while we had her near the window, the fresh sunlight also helped greatly.

Soon, she was starting to wake up. She was starting to act like a baby should be. We were so glad to be home, it was the best feeling in the world. I knew it was hard, but in the end God got us through it once again. I did trust in God the entire time, sometimes I may have been worried, but who wouldn't be. It's human nature, but as long as I held onto the belief that she was going to be ok, the rest would work out in the end.