The J Word Part I

Our daughter was finally here, we were so excited and we couldn't wait to hold her. I was holding her in my arms for the first time and it was a blessing. She was wrapped up in a small blanket, they had just cleaned her off and mommy wasn't able to hold her. She was very disappointed, but they had to sew her back up after having to cut in order to fit the baby out.

I was worried and I rocked this beautiful bundle of joy as I watched on, the nurses moving around and trying to stop the bleeding. They packed her with all kinds of stuff to stop the bleeding. Our daughter was a tough one to come out, but in the end it was well worth it.

Because of the way she was situated her head was a little red, she had to wear a small hat. She was also Jaundice and that's the biggest worry that we had. We knew right then that we wouldn't be able to leave the hospital as we had planned. Mommy was really excited to leave the next day, but her hopes were crashed as we realized our daughter had Jaundice pretty bad.

They took her away from us and told us that she needed to be under the lights in the nursery. Even when we did have her, all she wanted to do was sleep. It was heartbreaking for us. We both wanted to hold her and cherish her, the only times that they would bring her in was for feedings. That alone was hard enough because she wasn't always awake. Whenever she did try, she would fall asleep right away again.

Yes, it was frustrating and we wanted her to stay awake. We tried, but nothing seemed to work. The Jaundice was causing most of this, it was sad enough and for us this was a very hard time.

The days passed, we were unable to see her as she had to be under these lights. We remember going into the nursery and looking at our miracle from God laying there with a patch over her eyes. We couldn't help almost crying as we wanted to hold her so bad. I could tell that mommy was missing her so much.

We went back to the room and mommy started to cry, she wanted to hold her so bad. This wasn't fair and I could feel the pain deep down inside. I held the tears in to support her and be there for her. However, it wouldn't be long before I could no longer hold back the tears. I too wanted to hold my daughter, I was anxious and desperate to touch her, the few times I could I tried to cherish every moment.